Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Monday, August 27, 2007
My poor ring
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Monday, August 20, 2007
A year ago this week
Well, a year ago this week I was having my last chemo appointment. The dreaded Taxol and Gemzar combo. It would wreck havoc with my bones and make it nearly impossible to walk or do anything without pain. I was finally getting the barest hint of hair after being bald for 4 months. I'm having a hard time believing it's been a year. I had a full head of hair and it's all one color again. Jason's aunt liked to experiment with colors and at one point I had my original brown hair, blond, icky darker blond, and gray hairs sneaking in. It was all growing out and since we were too afraid of burning my scalp, so she had only colored my hair about an inch out. The rest was my natural gray and brown hair. So it really was kind of hideous when it grew out a lot. But now it's all a very natural brown color and it fits me. I need to get a picture of my hair so I can have it for my album. It will be hard to cut ever since it was the hardest thing I ever had to grow.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
I love Erma Bombeck
IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER - by Erma Bombeck (written after she found out she was dying from cancer).
I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.
I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.
I would have talked less and listened more.
I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.
I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.
I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.
I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.
I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.
I would have sat on the lawn with my grass stains.
I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.
I would never have bought anything just b ecause it was practical, wouldn't show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.
Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner."
There would have been more "I love you's" More "I'm sorry's."
But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute...look at it and really see it .. ... live it and never give it back. STOP SWEATING THE SMALL STUFF!!!
Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what. Instead, let's cherish the relationships we have with those who do love us. Let's think about what God HAS blessed us with , and what we are doing each day to promote ourselves mentally, physically, emotionally.
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
11 Things Never to Say to a Cancer Patient
This is for all the dingbats out there or people without a clue. For those that are well meaning and have my best interests at heart, ignore this. A fellow breast cancer survivor wrote this. I don't agree with all of it, but the majority I do.
11 Things Never to Say to a Cancer Patient:
1.) WOW! You have hair. While we know that you mean this as a compliment, what you’re really saying is: “Hey, last time I saw you, you were bald. Now, not so much.” Yeah, thanks. Don’t take us back to remembering the treatment that caused us to be bald.
2.) I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL! Really? You do? Unless you are a fellow Cancer patient, we’d really appreciate some “I imagine you feel. . .” or “I am certain that’s frustrating” like comments, because you don’t have a clue.
3.) You don’t LOOK sick. Awesome. That’s the WELL look I was going for. I have good days and bad days. By the way, you don’t LOOK stupid.
4.) (See number 3) Wow. I thought people got thin/lost weight during chemo. Yeah, see they used to—and now we have steroids that help with the nausea. . .so lots of us actually GAIN weight. How thoughtful of you to point it out!
5.) Any form of: “Your Oncologist/Doctors aren’t doing the right thing; I think you should take XYZ treatment.” Wow. You went to medical school in the past four weeks since I’ve seen you? Every form of cancer and every case is different. Treatments are tailored to our individual needs. Please don’t undermine my team.
6.) What you really need is a JUICER. Juice saved my life! I am so glad you’re feeling healthy. Some cancer patients can’t eat raw veggies, and if you keep pushing this $200+ machine on me, I might stick that cucumber somewhere you don’t want it.
7.) Vitamin C, Vitamin K, Vitamin E, SOY! Vitamin C is water soluble so any you don’t need, you pee out. Too much Vitamin E inhibits an antioxidant’s ability to rid the body of bad cells . . . and I’d hate for that blueberry juice I’ve been drinking in massive quantities (see number 6) not to work! SOY is a natural form of estrogen which feeds many breast cancers. So, it could be dangerous.
8.) When are you going back to work? You know what, I would give ANYTHING to feel up to a full eight hours around the water cooler with people who aren’t sticking me with needles etc. . . but right now I still need a nap around 3:00 PM everyday. And I don’t see me pulling a “George Castanza” under my desk.
9.) Are you gonna eat that? Sure as heck am. See sometimes when your tastes change due to all these meds you can’t eat anything, or your former favorite things, so right now, I’m going to eat what sounds/tastes good. If cancer isn’t going to kill me, neither will this Little Debbie.
10.) Wow, you are pretty brave to get such a haircut!".good ever lovin grief. I had all this wonderful hair...randomly I got up one morning and shaved my head...thats right, because I'm daring and edgy and brave...hated to buy shampoo, didn't like to comb...tired of coloring....ugh.
11.)"You have to think positive/It's all about positive thinking/Attitude is one of the main reasons why people beat this" No I don't and no it's not. It's basically luck and alot of toxic crap. I wonder if anyone has ever done a study on the life expectancies of happy clowns that i can retort with?
Portland GNO
I got together with some online friends this past week. We met up at the Portland temple and walked around taking pictures in the twilight. Then we made a quick trip to Trader Joes and off to The Cheesecake Factory. Alaina, Lisa, Lis, and I had a blast. We started talking and gossiping and laughing and have a wonderful time. The cheesecake was so good and the conversation was even better. I haven't laughed that hard in ages. We all got along so well and had similiar thoughts and feelings about various things. We thought it would be fun to get some pictures and we were giggly and being silly. It was late at night and it was at Washington Square Mall. We got out a small quilt and laid it in the parking lot. We put our heads together and attempted to take pictures of ourselves. Very few came out okay since we were laughing so hard. Here's my attempt. Ignore the ugly braces and the fact that I cut someone's head off.