My memory is gone; my new surgeon

I don't remember if I wrote about this or not, so I'm doing it again. I can't remember anything anymore. I will be going to do something and when I get there, I can't remember why I was going there. I'll remember that I want to email someone and when I get to the computer, the thought is gone and I'll go do something else. Or I'll be talking and I want to say a certain word, but it escapes me. It gets very frustrating and irritating in conversations. I feel like an idiot most of the time. I'm not stupid, but it sure seems like it when you talk to me. I know it's the chemo that did it. That's one of the side effects but I didn't really believe in it till this year. It's a term known as chemobrain. Not a lot of people believe it's true, but until you've gotten it, you don't really understand it. You literally feel like you'r losing your mind.

I need to talk about my appointment before I forget. I found out that my reconstructive surgeon dropped my insurance last year. So I no longer can use Dr. Gray for my big surgery this year and I had to go searching for a new one. I like OHSU and I looked up the surgeons there. The head of the department is Dr. Juliana Hansen and her clinical interests include breast reconstruction after breast cancer. So I chose her since she seemed to specialize in what I was looking for. I made the appointment for April 4th and all of a sudden, the paperwork started pouring in. I had so many forms that I wasn't sure which end was up.

She had her offices in the new building for OHSU by the waterfront. I was hoping to ride the tram, but no such luck. Stinking medical assistant checked me out and then said she's be right in. Uh, an HOUR later she strolls in, apologizing for being late. She checked me out and asked lots of questions. She seemed really knowledgable and answered all of my questions. I wanted to get familiar with a surgeon before I HAD to have one for surgery. She told me that I would be ideal for a TRAM flap procedure, a free tram flap one to be specific. The more I hear about any flap surgery is scaring me. I want it done, but heck! This surgery is going to easily be 10-12 hours long!!!! I'll be in the hospital for a week. One lady on my bc support group online said that her doctor put her in ICU so she would have constant care. YIKES!!! This is not fun. I'm happy I'll get the bonus tummy tuck, but at what price?