Up and down week, mostly down

Tell me to go take my meds. I haven't done it in nearly a week and I can really tell a difference. It was a hard week emotionally and then I forgot to take meds and I'm just having the hardest time. I'm sick of taking medicine all the time. Take my vitamins, my tamoxifen, Lexapro, spiro-something, and then in the evening, take some more tamoxifen. This is nothing compared to when I was in chemo. At any one time I was taking Emend(3 day round of pills costing $50), Benedryl, Vicodin, Percoset, Neulasta, Lexapro or Prozac, Tylenol, phenegren, AC, Taxol, Gemzar, muscle relaxers, and Ativan. Something to calm you down when you have anxiety. They would give it to me in my IV when having chemo. At one time they were even going to give me Ambien too because I got insomnia so bad. So up to 8-9 meds at one time. Half of them were killing me and making me so weak I could barely get up and the other half was supposed to keep me sane and not puking my brains out. Right now I'd give anything for my bed with fresh clean sheets and a percoset. Just go to sleep for awhile and ignore the world.