I joined the Relay for Life for Vancouver!

Holy cow. It was an amazing experience last year and I wasn't in a position to participate but I am now. I shakily signed up to be a part of a team that is trying to raise money for the American Cancer Society. I went last year and walked in the Survivor's Lap and I just bawled. It was such a powerful feeling. I know I won't be able to walk 24 hours worth, but the goal is to have one member of each team on the track for at least 24 hours. I want to help. I want to decorate a luminaria and do something. I'll have more information coming when I have it. But if anyone is interested in learning more, I have a link for more info. Just go to this link and find out what you need to find out. Thanks for looking!

Support me in my Relay for Life!!https://www.kintera.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=191640&lis=1&kntae191640=473919F646B04EF08643EEE458BB2E2F&supId=181388527

No surgery for now

I'm really disappointed but right now this is what has to happen. I really wanted to have the free tram flap surgery, but with our limited options, it just can't happen now. I found out the surgeon I wanted is not covered by my insurance plan and quite honestly, I don't want to go to anyone else. I don't trust why they would be doing it. Are they more concerned about the plastic surgery part of it or the reconstruction of my breast? I want to be made whole again and I won't settle for less than the best. It's a long surgery, long time in the hospital, long time to recover. It's a major inconvinience for everyone around me and I hate feeling like a bother or that I'm doing it for selfish reasons. I have a feeling there are a couple of people in my family that feels that way and I can't help letting that affect me. Plus, we have no money to pay for the drugs or the surgery itself, even with insurance paying a majority of it. I'm very unhappy to be stuck being Uniboob. But, you do what you have to do.

Very late Wordless Wednesday

Ah yes. Our siblings and their very interesting talents. My brother here is blowing his own horn. With his nose. We are all very proud.

Almost Wordless Wednesday

We just got back from the beach yesterday. We had a family camping trip at Cape Lookout on the Oregon Coast and stayed in yurts. (we think it's camping anyways. lol) Anyways, here's a couple of my favorite pictures. Thank heavens for Uncle John and Aunt Katie to entertain 4 little girls.

Smokey Mountains trip or Salt Lake City trip?

I belong to two different internet boards. One is for my breast cancer and one is a bunch of women that belong to the same church as I do. The breast cancer board is for those younger women that have been diagnosed with breast cancer and are either in treatment or are NED. The other one is for women that obviously belong to the same church. Both have members from different areas around the world. Each group has their own unique perspective on the world.

In February I went to a breast cancer conference for young women affected by it in DC. Got to put names to faces and bodies that I met in person. Had a wonderful experience and got to know several people better. I've been apart of the church group board for quite a long time and have met at least 10-20 of them and stayed in contact with these women on the board through everything imaginable. Each group has helped me out in certain ways.

The hard thing is that each group is planning get togethers this summer. The church group has managed to get a huge home in the Salt Lake area to borrow and at least 40-50 women will be in and out throughout a weekend in July. The breast cancer group is planning a trip to the Smokey Mountains in a gorgeous rental cottage outside of Knoxville, Tennessee. My favorite people from the breast cancer conference will be there and I think no more than 20 women or so will be there. I have a free ticket on Frontier airlines that I could use if I was able to go somewhere this summer. The question is, which would I choose? The breast cancer women have just breast cancer and being young as a common denominator. The other group has our church, being young mothers, the long time we have all known each other, and it's close and I have family in Utah.

I know which one I should choose, if I were to go. But honestly, I'd rather go to the breast cancer trip. I've never been to the Smokey Mountains, my bestest buddies that KNOW what I've gone through are going to be there, and even though we aren't the same religion, there's something about that group that I would rather spend time with than anyone else.

I can't afford to go anywhere anyways, but it's always fun to dream. I may have the airline ticket, but I can't leave my babies and my dh again. I took a lot of heat because I left in February for the breast cancer conference. Not from my dh, but other "family" members. As it is, I'm on both boards daily and it's so dang hard to listen to everyone chatter about the trips and what's going to happen and who's going and so on. So I have to ignore it and try to be interested in something else so it won't kill me to know I'm missing out on such a fun time. Dang, it sucks to be poor sometimes.