No surgery for now

I'm really disappointed but right now this is what has to happen. I really wanted to have the free tram flap surgery, but with our limited options, it just can't happen now. I found out the surgeon I wanted is not covered by my insurance plan and quite honestly, I don't want to go to anyone else. I don't trust why they would be doing it. Are they more concerned about the plastic surgery part of it or the reconstruction of my breast? I want to be made whole again and I won't settle for less than the best. It's a long surgery, long time in the hospital, long time to recover. It's a major inconvinience for everyone around me and I hate feeling like a bother or that I'm doing it for selfish reasons. I have a feeling there are a couple of people in my family that feels that way and I can't help letting that affect me. Plus, we have no money to pay for the drugs or the surgery itself, even with insurance paying a majority of it. I'm very unhappy to be stuck being Uniboob. But, you do what you have to do.