Update of sorts #1

Since that post about asking for help, things have improved with my inlaws. That one night was so terrible. I was ready to never talk to my mother in law again. Even though my father in law was there that night, he just goes along with my mil and even though this sounds cruel, he just doesn't have any courage or thought to have his own opinion.

I let the matter calm down and I didn't talk to his parents for a few days. We managed to get rent together and made it with help from my parents, church, and scrambling our meager finances. Jason got a phone call from his mom and they chatted and she asked if we were able to pay rent. I guess she sounded surprised when he said of course we did. Anyways, they were going to Costco and like they always do, they ask if we wanted anything from there. We give them money and they get what we like since we don't have a card. He told her that no, we wouldn't be getting anything this time around. She called a day or two later and for some reason asked if we could come by. I can't remember why anymore.

In the meantime, I had to work through why I was so hurt. I came to believe that I wasn't going to let her get to me anymore. I won't say anything bad to the girls about them, I'll try to be better about letting my feelings get the best of me, and I refused to let them see how hurt they made me. I was going to show them by action that just because they were so hurtful, that I was not going to be vindictive or ignore them or anything like that.

So we went over there and I tried to behave like normal. We were only there for about 10 minutes or so. They had gone to Coscto and had some things for us. She bought some dishwasher detergent that we needed, some frozen chicken patties that Lindsey loves, crackers, hamburger patties, and chocolate syrup. It doesn't sound like much, but my mil is very very tight with money. She GAVE that to us and said not to worry about paying them back. We were very touched and made sure they both knew how grateful we were. I was shocked that she would do that but I knew that by changing my attitude towards her made the difference. When dh went to go play video games with his dad later that week, I sent a card with him telling them thank you and we both signed it.

Last time we were there, my mil had heard something pop in her hip area when she stood up from watching the girls ride their bikes. Anyways, a couple of days later, she called to ask about some medicine. I asked what was up and she let me know the pain had gotten much worse. Since I have every pain med known to man, I brought over the Alieve she asked for and something to help at night. We also brought over a good magazine I knew she would enjoy and some blueberry muffins that I had just made. I was very proud of those silly things. lol Anyways, we brought everything over, made her feel comfortable and then left.

Had this happened right after the confrontation with them and Jason, I wouldn't have been so eager to help. But I got what she needed together and we went right over with a couple of comfort items in case it would make her feel better. It made me feel better to help and hopefully let her know that there were no hard feelings and when someone needs help, we immediately do what we are able to do.

I'm so glad that I got my priorities straightened out and made the conscious choice to not to let this bring me down. It was hard, but if I want things to be better, I have to step up and show her Christlike service and caring.