I'll miss you Dace Wilson

Breast cancer boards are wonderful and terrible at the same time. I found a great one on the Young Survivor Coalition bulletin boards. I went to their sponsored young survivor conference in Washington, D.C. in February and had the time of my life. Met lots of wonderful people, put names to faces and screen names. Then there's the bad side of the board. A lot of the women on there are not going to grow old. They are not going to see their kids graduate high school let alone see them make it to middle school. This week has been particularly brutal on my board. A wonderful lady that just took the boards to become an oncology nurse or worker, died of breast cancer. The disease had metastized to too many places to count. There are so many people diagnosed with mets lately. Too many wonderful sweet women that did nothing wrong. They were female and had breasts, that's it. Two people in particular were just told about them having mets. Not a lot of options for them anymore.

Then in passing, a friend on the board told me that my roommate that I had at the conference in February had died. I could have fallen over. As it was, I just started to cry. I have known women online that have died and missed them, but this was the first time that I met a woman I knew personally and talked for hours that has died from this shitty disease. Dace was amazing. How we found each other was just incredible. We both got scholarships to go to this conference and were looking for roommates to share the hotel room. We hooked up and found out some really neat stuff. Though she lives in California, she graduated from my rival high school in Vancouver, WA two years before I graduated. She had two young daughters, similar in ages to my girls. We both had braces on! Just weird stuff. She was a spiritual person and that helped a lot when trying to find someone to hang with that didn't drink when everyone else was. One night at the conference, our friend Jackie, Dace, and I sat in our room and chatted till about 2-3am. You didn't even notice the time, we just could talk and talk and it was so natural feeling.

When we left the conference, we tried to keep in touch, but we both had families and lives and we drifted apart. Then I hear in the middle of a hectic family drama filled week, that she had passed away. She had inflammatory breast cancer(IBC), ductal carcinoma in situ(DCIS), and I believe it had turned into invasive ductal carcinoma(IDC). I don't know the grade and stage she was at. But it's hurting so much more than I thought it would. The people online that have passed away, you can feel bad but it doesn't hurt as much because you didn't know them. I KNEW Dace. I hugged her, talked with her, spent time with her, laughed and shared stories with her. I'm having a hard time pulling out of this.

So Dace, I'm so sorry I didn't try to stay in better touch with you. You were so gentle and kind and sweet and fun. I'm glad I got you as a roommate and could see pictures of your girls and hear about how you were doing. I'm so sorry I didn't email you more or keep in better contact. I'll miss you a bunch, you really have no idea. God bless you and your family, especially those darling girls of yours.

Dace Mines Wilson
WILSON -Dace Mines Wilson, passed away October 19, 2007. She is survived by her children, Kathryn and Kayla Wilson, her parents, Jan Beasley-Akins (Ulysses) and Arkley Mines. Her brother, Maurice Mines and sister, Virginia Mines. 3 Aunts, Collette Beasley-Harnage (Alvin) Gail Mines-Johnson and Julia Mines, her uncle, Ronald Mines, a host of other relatives and many friends. Visitation from 2:00 P.M. to 7:00 P.M. Friday, Woods-Valentine Mortuary Chapel. 1455 N. Fair Oaks Ave., Pasadena and Services 11:00 A.M. Saturday Bethlehem Church, 1550 N. Fair Oaks Ave., Pasadena. Interment, Forest Lawn Memorial Park., Hollywood Hills. Woods-Valentine Mortuary Pasadena, Directing.