Almost another trip to the ER

We wanted to clean and change the girls room around. Unload the bunkbeds and keep them seperate. Their room is hard to manage, so it was tricky. Anyways, I was unscrewing the side rails from the top bunk. First three sides were fine and then the last screw on the last side was stuck a bit, so I reached inside on the bottom and helped it along. Bad idea. when it finally got loose, the rail fell and smashed into my finger. I screamed pretty good and grabbed my finger and said a few things I maybe shouldn't have. Oh my heck, it hurt so bad. I finally let go of my finger to see a bunch of blood. Great. I run to the bathroom and start cleaning it off. At first I couldn't see where the main owie was. All I could think of was I really didn't want to have stitches and go to the ER AGAIN. Just my luck. I was bawling and so upset with myself for being so dumb, I was crying from the day before and all that went with going to the ER, and also because it hurt so dang bad. It's been a really emotional couple of days.

Turns out I just gouged myself pretty deep and tore off a bunch of skin and didn't need stitches. It throbbed really bad for a long time though. My father in law had to come over and help move the beds around because I hurt myself. Plus, not being 6 weeks out from my other surgery, it wouldn't have been wise to help move the top bunk. I felt humiliated. When my inlaws came to take L the day before, I am probably imagining it, but I felt like they thought I was faking it and I could just feel contempt from them. I hadn't planned on going to the ER. I was freaked out into it and I shouldn't have called dh from work. He immediately dropped everything and ran home. I was glad for the company but I didn't feel it was an emergency and I most definitely didn't want to go to the hospital.

After we got home, dh talked to me. He didn't like having to leave work the way he did just to find out it was a migraine. (like I said it was, but nobody believed me) Naturally I felt like crap and guilty like I had planned the whole thing. I was also mad. No one believed me! Now I have even more stress than was on me than before. I can't seem to win.

That's a big reason why I was crying yesterday when I hurt my finger. A lot of it was pain, but mostly a release from all the pressure and emotion from the day before. I still feel it, but now that I've cried, it's easier to handle. On to another day.