What I'm good at

I wrote this on a bb about a week ago. I wanted to remember it, so I'm posting it here. Just one of those times when you realize what you're good at, no matter what it is.

I'm the one that's always home with the kids and dh gets to be the ones the girls run to when he gets home. He's the bright spot to them and makes their day. L even calls him her "darling". That always bugs me. I want to be the one that they like and want to do things with. It hurts my feelings that they don't get all excited over me.

Then my baby get sick. Who's name does she call in the middle of the night? Mine. Who does she want to take care of her? Me. I clean up the throw up, I change her nightie, I sleep with her with bucket in hand just in case, I hold her sick little body when she's hurting, etc. I find that I don't mind it so much. I like it. I like being the one my babies yell for in the middle of the night. I'm the one that can fix the owies, wipe the tears, and make things all better. The best thing? After my dd had a bad day yesterday and I had just cleaned her up and cuddled her up on the couch, she tells me, "you're the best mom ever". I can live off of that for a week. I find that I'm good at the nurse/mom thing. I'm at my best. I can handle the puke, the grubbies, the cleaning up, the tears, the hot foreheads, the sickies, etc. I love to be wanted and I know they will remember that when it's important.

They can have their daddy in the good times, because I know when they really need me, it's going to be "Mom!!" they yell in the night when it really counts. So it's not really fair. Daddy gets the good times, I get the others. But in the end for me, it took my babies being sick for me to realize my potential and where I'm best at.