I want to go stick my head in the sand

Ever feel like doing that?

There is so much heartache going on. I have a friend on my breast cancer board that is in the hospital for 21 days while undergoing chemo for chemo induced leukemia from breast cancer. Too many more friends have had mets diagnosises. A girl I had taught in Sunday School was pregnant and gave birth to a stillborn baby. A friend on my MOFia board is 16 weeks pregnant and found out the baby died 2 weeks ago. Another found out that her child died in utero and is presently in the hospital being induced to deliver a child that died not too long ago. Another friend's husband lost his job, another friend is waiting to have her 2 month old have surgery, another found out the surgery her 5 year old had in September failed miserably and will have to have another one, etc. A lady in my ward with breast cancer isn't doing so well. I've lost my job with no prospects of one, etc. It's just neverending. It literally hurts my heart to hear all of this. I want to take it all in and make it better but I can't. Saying "I'm sorry" seems so pathetic and not enough. I want to help but there is just so little you can do.

I have trouble distancing myself from all of the heartache. I internalize it and add it to my own situations and have trouble sleeping with it all. I don't know how to sympathize and comfort without making me feel guilty for not "fixing" the problem. That's what I want to do, is to fix it all but I can't. So right now, sticking my head in the sand is sounding really nice. Ignoring all the problems and situations that are everywhere I look. Anyway I say it or write it, makes it sound wrong and really selfish. I don't mean it to be but I'm not good with words and don't know how to express it the right way.