We are staying in Portland, no Tuscon

I'm heartbroken, sad, and a teensy bit relieved. But I won't let myself feel that for awhile. I'm mostly sad and really really down. Jason wanted this so bad. We looked up apartments, found people to talk to that lived there that could tell me good doctors, tried to figure out moving costs, etc. We wanted this so badly because we would be a little more financially secure. No more wondering how the hell we would pay rent or afford to buy clothes for the girls for school. Jason wanted so much to be able to provide for his family as the head of the house. He was really counting on this. I'm upset that they didn't want him. They are missing out, he's wonderful and the hardest most loyal worker they'll ever meet.

But the teeny tiny part of me way in the back is so relieved not to have to deal with the hot weather. My hot flashes are still happening with the slightest bit of heat and I'd tried to keep it out of my head how it would be done there in the extreme heat. I would gladly go if they change their minds, but it doesn't look like it's meant to be.