Who am I anymore?
Do you ever feel satisfied? Do you ever feel good enough? I feel restless and unsettled. I don't feel complete. I don't feel like I'm a whole person. I don't know if it's the cancer thing or what it is. I don't want my whole life forever to revolve around cancer. But is that how everyone sees me? Oh yeah, she's the girl that got breast cancer. Am I known for anything else? I feel like I'm walking in a fog and I see glimpes of the life I want, but it's just out of reach or the fog closes it up after a little while. I'm not sure I know how to be happy anymore. No, it's not a depression thing, I think it goes beyond that. How do I explain this so that it makes sense? I feel at times like a block of wood that hasn't been shaped yet. I know I will be something incredible, but that I have to be carved first. It's like I don't have the tools to do it yet. I don't know how to get the tools or the skill to carve, but it's there! I want to become the me I want to be, but I don't know how to get there.
1 comment:
I know it sounds cliche but hit your knees and you'll figure it out. I've been there, and now I've had part of me carved. I just keep forgetting there is still a lot left to be carved to see all the potential HF gave me.
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