I'm so ready for a massage

I learned some lessons yesterday. Just because you feel good two days after chemo, doesn't mean that you are in the clear and can do what you want. Also, if you ever get a flat tire on Sunday and need to call your dh for help, I guarreentee your HT will be there at your home when you call your dh.

I was feeling pretty good and went and picked up my mom at the airport. Everything was fine. I was feeling a bit sick before so I took something and was fine. I started to feel a sore throat come on and some tiredness but that's it. Since we were both hungry and we haven't seen each other since before my mom left on vacation, we broke the Sabbath and went to Olive Garden for lunch. It was so good! I love my capalini pomodoro which I just spelled horribly wrong. Anyways, on the way out, we notice that Mom's car had a nearly flat tire. So we call Jason to come save us and our home teacher is visiting us at the same time. Great. So The home teacher comes over and helps us change the tire in the Olive Garden parking lot. I know I'm going to hell now.

But anyways, we go back home and visit for a little while. I'm sitting on a chair and doing my best to stay upright and not crumble on the ground. As soon as they leave, I drop on the couch and then practically crawl to bed and don't move for a couple of hours. I felt like I had run a marathon or something. The feeling of being in one position for so long and then you stand up and stretch and realize how much you ache all over. That's what it felt like last night. I would have paid dearly to have a full body massage. It was that kind of ache.

I just hope that I can start taking better care of my body. My diet sucks. Right now I'm eating what sounds good regardless of what it is. Because so many times nothing sounds good that eating is just boring and not fun anymore. But I'm starting to ramble because I'm tired. I meet with my regular doctor on Wednesday to get an update and just make sure I'm doing okay.

I'm so lonely in some ways. I look forward to chemo because that's the only place where I can talk to anyone and they know exactly how I feel. I don't have to try and explain or anything. They just KNOW. I can joke about being bald or the side effects and they GET it. I have great online friends but, they aren't here with me. And I have some friends here in the area, but I can't ever meet with them. Different schedules or I'm way too shy or embarrassed to have anyone over and I don't know what to say. So it's my own fault.

I have a bunch of people I dearly love that I'd love to hook up with in Utah. It seems like they get together all the time and I'm so dang jealous. I try not to hear about their adventures because I just end up wanting to cry even though I'm happy for them. Just really sad for me.