8th chemo treatment went great today

The girls went to the babysitters this morning and didn't look back. I told Chloe I would call her later and I didn't do it. I wish I had, because it turns out that she threw up twice while she was there and I didn't get a phone call about it. I feel terrible! I guess she was asking about us and kept saying her tummy didn't feel good. I really feel rotten about it.

But Mom picked me up this morning and we went and saw Dr. Solti for my appointment. Dr. Brouns was gone and so I saw her. I started going back to the chemo room and getting my port stick put in and put on some saline type of stuff before seeing the doctor. Then I went back and got my good spot and was able to chat with my new chemo buddy Debi. Her hair is starting to fall out the night before her second treatment. So next time I expect to see her bald. It took a while to get started with the real chemo drugs, but I had time to spare. Mom kept me company for a while and then she left and Shannon and Dad showed up and visited with me for a while. They brought the cookies I made yesterday and set them out. The nurses handed them out to all the chemo patients and it made me feel good to know that all 7-8 dozen were gone by the end of the day and I had many compliments and comment directed towards me concerning them.

I'm impressed. My brother is deathly afraid of needles or has some type of paranoia about them. Anyways, he came for about 3 minutes to say hi before I told him he could leave with Mom. lol At least he showed up anyways. Jason was able to arrange half a day off by working on Sunday, so he came to stay after about 1:30 or so. He brought me three balloons and two cards, one from him and one from work. They were both wonderful and when I opened the card from his coworkers, it would sing "I will Survive!". Very nice.

Towards the end of chemo, I called Mom and told her to come over so she could see me ring my bell. I got tired of waiting and hit the bathroom. When I came out, my dad, sister, Nanny, mom, husband, and a friend and her son where there waiting for me. I got nice cards from Shannon and Mom and she made me an apron so I can get back to some serious cooking! Was that a hint or what? That and the pair of tongs I've been wanting gave the clues away.

So they all got to watch me say goodbye to various people I know and don't know. The nurses, other patients, and the scheduling staff. Then it was time to ring the bell. Jason set the video on the camera and I rang it out loud. All the nurses and patients stopped and clapped and cheered for me. It was very emotional because Mom and I both started getting weepy. Such a big deal! Ringing that bell meant so much! I was done with this part of my life and time to get onto something else. I will miss this experience so much.

I'm still not completely sure why I will miss it. But my nurse was telling me that just because I'm not actively doing something to fight the disease, I'm still healing and getting better. She said a lot of people get done with chemo and ask "Now what?". I know I have surgeries and radiation coming up but it's not that simple. This chemotherapy was such a life altering experience. If you haven't done it before or known someone who's done it, you don't get it. And then you don't have it anymore and you don't know how to fill that void. I found a book on amazon that I want to get that talks about it. I'm also thinking it might be a good idea to find a support group for breast cancer survivors so that I can continue to be around a good group of supporters to help me through this. We'll see how it goes. I wish so many things that can't happen. I'd love to go out and laugh with Erin and Kristen sometime. They can make me laugh so hard at times.

But it's getting late and I'm so tired and exhausted and emotionally shot today. I'm going to take my meds and go try to sleep. I have a sick baby, so I hope she has a good night too. She will be staying with me tomorrow if she's still feeling icky and Lindsey will go to Grandma's house. Hope all goes well there.