My last chemo is tomorrow!!!!

I can hardly believe that I will be done with chemotherapy tomorrow. It seems like I've been doing this forever. I had absolutely no idea what to expect with the first treatment and now I'm an old pro at it. 4 months have gone by and soon 8 treatments will be finished. I've been poked, prodded, had labs done too many times to count and I feel like a giant pin cushion.

It's weird to say and understand, but I will miss it. I will miss going in every other Thursday and sitting with friends that KNOW better than anyone what you are going through and think nothing of the lack of eyebrows you have or the new scarf or hat you have on to hide the hair. I will miss the laughter, the smiles of the nurses, my comfy fake leather recliner, and the fact that they FINALLY fixed the ice machine after it's been broken all summer long. Doing chemo was proactive and about the only thing I felt I could do that was doing something towards beating this disease.

I will miss especially(my nurses) Janelle, Tara, Amy, and even Desi. I'll miss Donna, Nancy, Sue, and mostly Tonya (my chemo buddies). She had her last treatment last time I was there. She knew I would be lonely and set me up with a new lady, Debbie who was having her first treatment. Tonya made me laugh, smile, and talk when maybe I didn't want to. She saved me a chair with "the girls" so when I arrived later, I would have a good spot to sit at and could laugh and talk with them. She made it easier to bear and even helped me to look forward to treatment because I knew she would be there. It will be hard to go tomorrow when I know she won't be there.

I didn't want to bring in a cake because that seemed a little too impersonal, so I made big batches of oatmeal raisin and chocolate chip cookies. My mom is bringing in some fruit and together we'll have the makings of a good going away party for me in the chemo room. I will really miss being there but I'm glad it's done too. I hated the Neulasta and Listera shots on Fridays. Those hurt even though Janelle is really careful about giving them to me. She does everything possible to make it easier to bear.

I hope everything goes well tomorrow and that I will be able to have the chemo. I didn't wait around for the results of my labs on Tuesday and if my levels aren't right, I won't do the chemo and will have to wait. But I've never had to put off a visit yet though I came close one time. Nothing out of the ordinary has happened, so I'm sure it will be fine.

Wish me luck and help me to be able to sleep tonight!!!