Going along in a daze
I'm just totally sapped of energy today. I didn't get out of my pajamas til almost 4pm. I wasn't sleepy, just absolutely no energy and really tired. It didnt' help that the rest of our little family is getting sick. Lindsey is getting over her sickness, Jason caught some stomach bug, and Chloe is starting to sniffle. In fact, to protect me from getting what he had, Jason spent last night at his parent's house and I stayed with the girls and my mom slept over. Amazingly, Lindsey slept all night for once! That was a relief. Chloe slept with me and every time she turned over or whimpered, I was there with a bucket in case she needed to urp or something. So I didn't get a consistent night's sleep.
Yesterday was weird. I had to go back to the cancer center to get a shot. I don't know if it was that or not, but I was really out of it. On the way home in the car, I couldn't hear Lindsey saying my name over and over and I would make remarks that didn't make sense or think I was cuddling Chloe and she wasn't there. I think I freaked my mom out. I felt like an idiot when I figured out what was going on.
I mostly stayed in bed today and drifted in and out. I tried to make some dinner, but the few minutes it took to do that got my cold and clammy and shaky. It's like my strength has deserted me and I can't keep control. I get feelings of nausea now and then, but no worse then when I was pregnant. I keep taking bits of hair and pulling it to see if it's falling out yet, but nothing has happened. Kind of silly I guess.
I have to say the dinners that have been brought to us this week have been wonderful. First night was cobb salad and ice cream and french bread. Next night was Papa Murphy's which I made dh take to his parents and share with everyone since I couldn't eat. Last night was again fabulous. Chicken with rice, a wonderful fruit salad, homemade bread, and cupcakes. I couldn't get enough of any of it. So thanks to all the wonderful helpers that made dinner for us this week.
1 comment:
Hey, I'm just now catching up on your latest enties. The good news is that you'll have hair for a couple more weeks. I went for treatments every 2 weeks, the night of my second treatment is when I knew the hair was going! Do you have hats ready to go/?? You'll want to do that before the fact.
This was the first "reality check" for me. I didn't recognize the stranger in the mirror and I couldn't leave my hands off my head! You don't realize how bumpy your skull is until there's nothing in the way but soft skin! And you don't realize how perfect your head is either! We bicked my head to get rid of the stubble; it hurts and is pokey! Couldn't get it all so used duct tape! Owey! But very effective! Be sure to use conditioner on your scalp...anyone there who'll give you a head massage????? Have fun with it while you've got hair; change the style, color, be silly; it makes the loss less traumatic, but be prepared to mourn! The shower is a great place to let it all out of your system! There's nothing wrong with a good, hard cry! Those days will come, guaranteed! Look on the bright side now...one treatment down, how many left???? It will surprise you how happy you'll be when you reach the halfway mark! Remember, when you're going through Hell, keep going! Hang tough! Luvu! mama Maryann
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