So busy today!!!!

Today was very eventful. Both good and bad things together. First of all, the pain I had from the fill was more constant and I took pain pills to manage it. I woke up at 6 something this morning and was up for a bit. Then I went back to sleep and except for a brief moment waking up and going potty, I feel asleep again and didn't get up til 11:30am. I've never done that before! I then got up and with help, managed to make the dessert I promised for John's rehearsal dinner. Then I got dressed and raced over to Vancouver for the funeral of a friend I grew up with.

It was rather unsettling to go to this funeral. I was friends with T but I was closer to his older brother. T was riding his motorcycle last week and lost control and was killed instantly when he hit an SUV. I hear that he was dragged underneath the car and was banged up pretty good. The family wasn't allowed to see him til he was cleaned up in the mortuary. T was my age and graduated from high school with me and he always had a smile on his face and was kind and quiet. It's hard to imagine someone my age dying let alone T. It just doesn't make sense. But in a weird sort of way, with my breast cancer, I had more of a chance of dying than he did before the accident. The church was full and I was glad. He was a good guy and to be honest, I was able to meet up with some people I hadn't seen in a while and it was really nice to get reaquainted.

Then it was on to John's rehearsal dinner. We had awesome food prepared by Mom and various helpers. Such good meat and the pasta salad was wonderful. Everyone including Katie's mom was asking how I was and being very concerned about me. I appreciate the concern and care, but I wasn't there for that. It was Katie and John's time and I didn't want to take away from that. So anytime anyone talked to me about how I was, I tried to steer it away or I told them to ask me after the wedding. I wasn't trying to be mean, but I didn't want the focus on me but on the bride and the groom.

I was annoyed with one thing. I guess since I had my saline fill, I'm a fragile little thing. I know I'll bug someone by writing this, but I can't hide how I feel. Sorry Mom! But everytime I tried to do anything, someone would tell me to sit down or I shouldn't be doing that. Uh, if I felt good enough to help, I was going to help! Telling me I can't or shouldn't do something just makes me angry. I know my limits and I know when to stop. When I started to hurt, I sat down and took it easy. I slipped out the door to go to the bathroom and I guess I caused a minor panic. No one knew where I was and my mom came searching for me. While I appreciate the care and the love, I was JUST GOING PEE. I half teased Jason when I got back that I would stand on the table and announce it next time so no one worries about where I went.

I started to hurt just after dinner, so we didn't stay to help set up. Lindsey was losing it and I was starting to be in pain, so we were sent home. I wasn't too upset though I felt bad about not even helping to set up for the reception. Hopefully I will be in better shape tomorrow and can do something to be of help.

I get to take a shower tomorrow. I'm so excited but kind of scared that it will hurt. But it's been three weeks since I had a proper hot water shower where all of me all at once could get wet and clean. Washing my hair in the sink and other body parts one at a time has definite drawbacks. Yuck!!!