Wow, that wasn't bad at all

Well, sort of. I had a saline fill as I call them today. I was very prepared and took some narcotics about 45 minutes before the appointment when we dropped the girls off at the babysitters. I managed to pick up my glasses at the eye doctor and then we went to my appointment with Dr. Gray for the fill. Last week was the most painful fill of all and I wanted to just cry and cry all day when it was over. This week was such a difference! I don't know if it was the meds I took early or what it was.

The appointment went great. I let her know that when I saw my oncologist that he said I didn't have to have the tissue expander taken out and could continue with the fills. She was happy and I was happy too. This hurts so much that I don't think I could really stand to have it taken out and start over again after treatment. The other good news is that I got my drain taken out! I had the other one out last week but this drain was still between 20-25cc and it had to be below 20cc to be taken out. So when I drained it this morning, it was like only 15cc! So it's out and I'm grateful. She did it after the fill and I didn't even feel her touching the drain site let alone take it out. The area is still numb so I couldn't feel anything.

But to the saline fill itself. I had my meds early, Jason was there to help calm my nerves and it went very smoothly. I didn't feel her stick me, but I could feel the pressure slowly build up. I was gripping Jason's arm and I kept getting a tighter and tighter grip on him as the pressure built up. When she stopped, I was surprised. I asked if that was all and she said it was and I said I could handle more. So she gave me a bit more for a total of 75 cc. Last week she barely made 60 ccs and I had to ask her to stop. She said the 2nd week is always harder but this week was very good. So I asked her how much she was going to fill it up and she said up to 600cc or so. I found out I'm at 275cc after today with an average fill of 60cc, maybe 75 cc on a good day. So I figure I have close to 5 more fills and then I'm done. I was feeling so good for a bit that I was ready to go visit Kristen and Manase since they came in for the wedding today. But after standing waiting for 5 minutes to make an appointment and wanting to faint, I figured it was better to go home after all.

I'm nice and filled with happy pills and floating on a cloud. I got bored and tried to call someone but I was a little too happy for my mom and she called Dad who called Jason who was then told to come home and maybe check on me. So no more calling people when I'm floating on a cloud. Worries too many people. lol I do love that feeling of total relaxation and not feeling pain. On days of these saline fills, a sneeze or even a hiccup rips my chest apart and kills me.

I've been looking at websites that sell hats and scarves for chemo patients. Most of them look great, but the models look bizarre. Doesn't instill the greatest confidence in me but I guess that doesn't matter. I bet if I got the right dimensions, I could buy some nicely patterned silk and make my own scarves or better yet, I buy the fabric and Mom can make the stuff for me. Now THAT sounds like a better plan. She does such a great job, I could look at her quilted stuff all day long.

I'm having problems concentrating right now so I will stop writing before I embarrass myself by writing something I shouldn't. So all in all, it was a great appointment. Gorgeous weather today and Jason got our swing set up yesterday with Chloe's help. So now I can sit in our nice swing and watch the girls play outside. I knew I loved spring for a reason!!