I found my happy place

The past couple of days have kind of blended together. All I wanted to do on Saturday and Sunday was stay in bed. I was trying to ignore the fact that my hair was gone. So I stayed in bed and ignored the world. But I knew sooner or later I'd have to come out of the apartment. So we ended up going on a ride Sunday evening and ended up in Oregon City and visited with my inlaws and my mil's best friend. It was scary! Should I wear just my bandana, or my hat, or both? Is my big floppy hat stupid looking, do I look like a freak? So many insecurities. I don't think Jason realized how hard it was to leave the apartment.

I think I found my happy place. That sounds so insane to actually write it out. Don't laugh. I was at the Portland Rose Garden today and Jason took the girls down the hill to the park. I was taking pictures of the roses alone and entered the Shakesperean Garden and had a seat on one of the benches. I was the only person in this little garden area. The rose scent was on the breeze and I was in the shade and I just had this overwhelming feeling that I could have sat there forever. It almost made my cry to leave that place. It made me feel so good! The weather was perfect, the roses were in bloom and the scent was everywhere, the garden was beautiful, and I haven't ever felt that way before. It's just like this place was made for me. It wasn't the most beautiful part of the garden and in fact it barely had 2-3 rose bushes in it. But it was my... space for lack of a better word. I wish I could go back there and stay on that bench forever.