I'm back!!!!!

Finally, I feel halfway normal again. It's hard to believe everything happened on Thursday and it's now Sunday afternoon. But I'm sitting here with an empty pain pump in one pocket and two lovely drains hanging on the right side of my shirt. I'm trying to type everything out so I can remember later on. Some stuff I don't know but Jason knows and I'll depend on him to help me with those details.

So we get to the hospital at 8:30am. Went to same day surgery desk to check in and get my lovely bracelets. Jason drove to the hospital because I kept threatening to drive to the beach if I drove. I get called back and put in this tiny 2 person room and strip down to a very fashionable airy gown and get my IV put in. I'm starting to panic now. I want to take my boob and run far away. After a little while, it's time for the sentinel lymph node dye to be put in. They cover me with blankets and wheel me over to the breast care center of the hospital to have the dye put in. I looked bizarre all covered in white warm blankets with my bare painted toes hanging out flying down the hallway. I get to the center and they give me a numbing stuff to make it easier when they put the dye in. So I get stuck 3 different times with the dye. Okay, last time hurt a little bit. Then they did it one last time. OH HOLY SHIT!!!!! I swear they stuck the needle straight down with every last bit of dye they could and stuck it all in. That hurt like no other thing in the world. I started to cry and couldn't stop it hurt so much. Jason was trying to be so brave, but it hurt so dang bad. They put a cool little Cold Spot on it so it wouldn't hurt so much. I was so deflated after that. I started getting scared and worried and my defenses were down. I went back to my tiny room waiting for preop instructions.

They wheel me in and cover my area with green and blue blocks all over the curtains. I really got scared. I was crying and so scared. I didn't want dh to leave me but I made my parents leave then. When I finally was wheeled to the operating room, I called to Jason that I loved him and he went into the waiting room. I remember getting on the table as someone said it was 1:06pm. So they were right on time. Next thing I remember was waking up like after a nap and feeling so naseous. They had to give me meds like 3 times before I was okay and I guess they wheeled me into my room. I couldn't for the life of me keep my eyes open at all. This was around 10pm. So not the nice 3-4 hour operation they told me I would have. I remember my mom saying she was leaving and dh putting his hand on my face and kissing me and he was going to take care of the girls. He had expected to be home around 7:30pmish. So he was really late. I forget who I asked, but the nurse said they did a dissection so I knew things weren't great. They were doing a biopsy and would only do a dissection if there was cancer found in the lymph nodes. So the first two nodes were okay, but the third had something there.

More later, getting too tired to sit up again.