Part II

Still tired but a nap with percocet feels better. Been feeling better off and on since I got home.

Being in the hospital was weird. They kept asking me what my pain level was on a pain scale and for the first little while all I could think to say was that it hurt. I was real naseauted and either wished I could throw up or make it go away so that it wouldn't feel like that anymore. I had more tubes and things attached to me than I wanted to know about. I had a pain pump inserted in two spots on my chest, an IV, two drains, and these leg things that went off every minute or so. They were like massagers that they put on my lower legs. Every so often they would go off and act like a blood pressure machine and squeeze and poof up to get my blood flowing and not have me develop blood clots while I was in bed. The pain IV clicked every 3 seconds, they came and checked my blood pressure and temp every 4 hours, and the leg massager was going off every couple of minutes. Combine that with being in pain, recovering from anesthia, and you can figure out for yourself how much sleeping I did that night. I was wrapped in a compression bandage which is just a giant ace bandage and couldn't take a deep breath. I watched every minute from 2am til 5am when I fell asleep before those Nazi nurse aides woke me up to check my blood pressure and ask right in my face if I was in pain. Uh, DUH!!! I just had my boob cut off, yes, I'm in pain!!!!

As I tired as I was, I didn't sleep a lot. I couldn't keep my eyes open for the life of me. I honestly couldn't keep them open for more than 5 seconds or so. Having a conversation with me was a real treat. I forget what time, but I got up to go to the bathroom. I really had to go and getting up was a real adventure. I was so weak and shaky and wobbly! I couldn't care less that I was feeling a draft in back. It took Jason and a nurse to help me the few feet to the potty. I felt like a truck that had to back up to the toilet. BEEP, BEEP, BEEP!!!! Then I sit and I discover that my lovely effort in peeing results in blue pee thanks to the radioactive dye they shot into my breast the day before. Thank goodness that's gone. It went from blue, to turquoise, green, and now back to normal. Just what you wanted to hear, right?

Not that I planned it this way, but everytime my mom came, I had just taken a pain pill and was floating on a cloud. The pain button I had I thought was for the pain pump inserted in my body. Nope, that was the morphine drip. You press hard, and morphine goes into your body. So I would show it off and 10 minutes later I was in the land of sleeping. I really wasn't paying attention when they all explained it to me.

My mom brought me a really pretty African violet and some good friends on my church internet board sent me some sunflowers. Another friend came by to say hi and brought me a chocolate pb egg. I love my friends!!lol The bishop even came by to say hello. So nice to hear from everyone. Even my sister and brother came by. I was really touched. I don't think seeing me was all that great, I looked scuzzy and probably a bit scary considering what had happened. But every visitor made my day. I didn't try and pretend to be upbeat, if I was tired, I said so. I just didn't have the energy to be "on" like you try to be when you have a baby and someone comes to visit.