Just a normal day

So since I got the news about the breast cancer on Monday, everywhere I went or whoever I talked to, I was the center of attention. I was treated like a fragile china doll and that's not what I'm used to. So it was a real treat to go to Katie's shower and just be on the sidelines and not be the center of conversation or the spotlight put on me. It felt like such a relief! I had a good time, won a prize for playing a game, and had a great cake and punch. Katie got some good stuff and I'm happy for her and John.

Every now and then I catch myself playing this game. Like this is the last Saturday before I have my surgery, this is the last time Jason and I will be on a date before the surgery, this is my Sunday before surgery, etc. Jason and the girls and I were cuddling in bed together this morning and I'm thinking this is the last weekend before everything changes. I'm anxious for this next week to be over and I'm more and more scared because it's going so fast and I feel like I have so much to accomplish. I can't believe I will be 33 on Monday. It doesn't even feel like my birthday, but just another Monday instead. I really don't feel like celebrating at all.